My Robot

“The computers are coming, the computers are coming,” is what I’d like to shout in the streets of US cities in a Paul Revere kind of way, but instead of a horse I’ll ride in my badass Toyota, and instead of a musket I’ll carry my Litman stethoscope. You see, last week, IBM unleashed its super computer onto the world’s most challenging scholastic battlefield: Jeopardy. There the computer, named Watson after IBM founder, intellectually massacred two former Jeopardy champs with lightning reflexes and unfathomable data banks. Although it made a few mistakes, it will learn from them and grow smarter and stronger, and unlike humans, it will show no mercy. Watson will give spawn to mimi-Watsons, and they will evolve to rise up. First Jeopardy, then Deal or no Deal, then Glee, and then….. the World!

Why are you not boarding up your doors and unplugging your electronics? Alright alright, perhaps I’m exaggerating; I guess I was taken back when I heard that execs at IBM are employing Watson at the University of Maryland and Columbia University Hospitals to assist doctors in diagnosing. So I began to think, if there’s Watson, why do you need doctors? It can learn material much quicker than anyone, it can retain the material without ever forgetting it, and it doesn’t tire. Sounds like the perfect doctor. If Watson can slowly phase out doctors and replace them with walking and diagnosing robots, then I would have wasted most of my life. My future was looking bleek thanks to IBM. But before I went Jet Li on my Thinkpad, I realized just how much I depend on technology. Without computers I wouldn’t be able to watch lectures online, do practice problems, make charts, learn through wikipedia, or play flash games. I am so dependent on technology to function. (For a moment I pictured myself as halfman/half machine kind of like the Terminator Salvation movie. I’ll be called R1000.) It’s true that I would not be half the student I am without computer assistance, and that’s exactly what Watson is used for –assisting medical staff. Watson can prevent misdiagnosis, solve tough cases, and make the hospital a less litigious place. But there are some things that it won’t be able to do. Watson won’t be able to replace a face to face conversation with a physician who is willing to listen and empathize with your sickness. Watson won’t be able to be ethical, yet bend the rules when needed. Watson won’t be able to give a prostate exam or a testicular check. Those things require people.

So atleast my career path seems safe for now. Can’t say the same for you accountants, finance workers, engineers, or dentists. Just kidding.

Hasta la vista Baby.