My Question

Everything was going smoothly. Although this was just a practice interview with a standardized patient, I was in the zone. I nailed every question from “Can you tell me more?” to “Have you been immunized?” I was probably so good that they could have taped my interview and showed it to students in the future. I was so good Oprah was probably taking lessons. Until… I had to ask that one question nobody likes to talk about. I knew I had to, but I was pushing it off until I had nothing else to ask. Most doctors don’t even ask this question unless it’s relevant, but they make us do it because it’s on the checklist. I guess it's part of a complete history.

“So… are you sexually active?” I asked the burly 65 year old male in front of me.
“Yes.”
“How active?” That is horribly phrased I thought.
“Couple times a week.”
“That’s good. Lucky you. Male, female or both?”
“I’ve been married to my wife, for 35 years.” He stared at me.
“Um… male, female or both?” Awkward!
“Female.”
“Do you have trouble getting or maintaining an erection?” For some reason I burst out laughing. If you ever played mafia with me, you’d know I’m very good at keeping a straight face. But for some reason on this particular day, I couldn’t control myself.
“Occasionally…”

And just like that time was up. During feedback, the standardized patient kindly told me to practice asking about sexual history and not laughing. LOL. But honestly… erection is a funny word.