My Wisdom

Another year older is another year wiser. That has to be an idiom somewhere, just not sure where. Although my birthday passed, life is still the same. I still laugh at the word “duty”, use a Madagascar hamper, and read Sunday Comics. I think they call this regression in psychiatry, but you can’t regress if you’ve never grown up. But the fun part of getting older is experiencing more in life. And from these experiences you start to wonder… seriously wonder at some of the idiosyncrasies all around you.

1.) Sarcasm doesn’t work too well online
2.) Homework really tests how good you are at reading your planner.
3.) Stupid decisions make great stories.
4.) Urinals should be height adjustable
5.) There should be a chemical that dissolves fat from cadavers to make dissecting easier.
6.) After doing laundry, there’s always one sock that’s still moist.
7.) I can’t decide what’s more embarrassing: being overly dressed or underly dressed.
8.) I hate that awkward moment when you see an acquaintance from afar and he sees u too, but neither of you wants to say hi too early so you just pretend to look around until you get closer.
9.) Why do engagement rings need to cost more than $500?
10.) Why must they come from Tiffany’s?
11.) GPS’ should have a “ghetto” area warning. It’ll be kind of embarrassing if you live in that area though.
12.) I think I concentrate more on the road when I drive and text
13.) 75% of the time if you talk to me at a party with loud music blasting, I have no idea what you’re saying, but I just nod and smile anyway.
14.) Sometimes I realize I’m wrong midargument, but still argue away because I don’t like to admit I’m wrong.
15.) Why is it so hard to keep your mouth closed when you sleep.
16.) If people cover their nose around you, it means you smell.
17.) Why does it seem that all the youtube channels are from the West coast? Oh yeah because we have real jobs here.
18.) I wonder if airplanes like 747s have keys
19.) I was weirded out when my old doctor made me take my clothes off EVERYTIME.
20.) I’m more weirded out that my new doctor never asks me to take my clothes off.
21.) It must suck to get sorted into Hufflepuff.