My Secrets

(Damnit... it's not what you think. This entry isn't about pikachu...)
People are always capable of surprising you; maybe that’s what makes life so unpredictable. Everyone has his own traits, idiosyncrasies, and secrets. Anyhow, here are five secrets that you probably never knew about me.

1.) When I first started watching Pokemon, I hated pikachu. He had to be all special and refuse the pokeball. I was totally team Charmander; he was so cute and had the biggest eyes. Squirtle was pretty cool too because he was head of the Squirtle Squad. But my mind changed after pikachu owned bigger and stronger Raichu… that was pretty bamf.

2.) I think it’s very nice of people to hold doors open for others. However, I’m very peculiar on door holding etiquette. I have my own set of rules of how to hold doors open for people. I get really annoyed when someone holds the door when you’re really far away –that’s just awkward because you don’t know if you should walk normally or run or do something in between. It’s also useless to hold the door slightly open for something. Come on, what’s the point of that, I still have to pull on it myself; you’re just wasting your time too. And if I thank you for holding the door for me, don’t reply with “uh huh.” That is not an appropriate substitute for “you’re welcome.”

3.) When I was in elementary school my dad told me the Guinness world record for someone collecting their own belly button crap was 5 lbs. I was totally amazed and wanted to set my own world record. Since belly button gunk would take forever to accumulate, I decided to amass ear wax. I think I spent a year collecting it and putting it into a cylindrical film container. It accumulated to about the size of a small walnut until I decided it was too much work. I don’t remember where I put it, but I really really really hope I find it someday.

4.) I have a major tell. Whenever I’m nervous I crack my right middle finger knuckle (the metacarpal-phalangeal joint) first and usually only that joint. And it cracks 99% of the time. If I’m bored I tend to crack that same finger’s second joint first then the knuckle.

5.) If I were a mutant in X-men I would choose Magneto’s side. I’d be pissed with people ostracizing me because I’m different. And plus if I joined Prof. Xavier’s side he would make me go to school; I’m a mutant, I shouldn’t go to school. So what kind of special power would I have? Teleportation would be cool at first, but it would get boring and it’s definitely not evil enough. No, my power would be to prevent anyone from talking or make any noise from his or her mouth for as long as I want. I hate obnoxious people and people who talk when I’m studying –problem solved. And I’d have Xavier’s ability to affect everyone in the world, so if I’m having a really craptastic day, I’d make the whole world stop talking. Everyone would be at my mercy. I’d be called RANcor…mwahahhaha… despicable me.